Thanksgiving Disaster
by snake screamer
Summary: I know I'm posting it late, but please bare with me.


_Thanksgiving at Tunt Manor_

"For the last time Krieger, were not letting you get near the turkey!" Cyril snapped

"Why not!" Krieger snapped

"Cause you will raped it!"

"I haven't done that in years!" Krieger snapped

"Sure you haven't." Cyril sneered

"Then why is Archer near it!" Krieger whined "Especially after the 4th of julau incidents."

"Cause as much as I hate hate hate hate hate-" Cyril slapped himself to stop the hate chant "To admit it, he's surprisingly a good cook and assures everyone in cooking the perfect turkey."

* * *

"Damnit Pam, get away from the bird!" Archer said

"Oh c'mon, I just want to improve it." Pam stated holding a bag of cocaine

"PAM IF YOU GET NEAR THAT TURKEY THAT I HAD TWO DAY BRINE IN A WAY THAT THE GRAVY WON'T MAKE IT TOO SALTY AND POUR COCAINE ON IT, I WILL PURPOSELY FIND YOUR DOLPHIN PUPPET AND GIVE YOU 400 STITCHES THIS TIME!" Archer snapped

"Goddamn dude." Pam said as she walked away from the bird.

"Sorry it just that I have bad thanksgivings memories of Bob with turkeys being ruined somehow." Archer said

"... did you just use plural for thanksgiving, cause you do realize you were only Bob for three months." Pam said

"Yeah but it felt longer. like eighth seasons worth." Archer muttered

* * *

"So... first thanksgiving with all you idiots combined." Mallory said sighed. "The only good thing is that it at least in a fancy setting.

"Indeed so." Ray said dressed in a fancy suit and monocle. "I do hope Pam not ruin the food with her cocaine obsession."

"Why the devil are you dressed up for!" Mallory snapped.

"Well this is still a mansion, and i doubt we be going to any fancy parties anytime soon." Ray said "Especially you."

"What do you mean by that!" Mallory glared.

"Oh please, by now Ron practically telling them he has all your money to your former contact and probably want to keep there distance from you like the plague."

"For your information missy as soon as Cherlene singing career starts up, i'm going to be back on top!" Mallory snapped

"Honey, underneath that country star persona, that's Cheryl. I give you four weeks top before she blows it somehow." Ray stated

"Whatever, just take that stupid outfit off no one else-" Mallory pause as she saw a fancy dress Cyril, Cherlene, and Krieger walked into the room. "Oh you gotta be shitting me."

* * *

"I can't believe both of you force me to leave all my cocaine stuff in the hallway, like an animal." Pam muttered, she and the thers were sitting at a table

"You shouldn't be eating it at all, it's bad for you!" Lana snapped

"Oh so Old man McGee gets all the heroin he wants but i get no Cocaine." Pam snapped

"Leave me out of this." Woodhouse stated

"Hey Archer not going to snapped at you eating at the table... is he?" Cyril questioned

"Oh no, after i was the only one who helped him with his marriage with Katya first, he let me eat at the tables, and its regular food to."

"And yet he still makes you eat spiders." Lana sighed

"Spider webs, major difference." Woodhouse said "He said he refuse to feed me spider in the fear of it turning me to a Renfield style butler."

"Lame, we Tunt had like eight different Renfields." Cherlene said proudly. At that moment Archer walked in the with the bird.

"Behold, my culinary genius." Archer stated as placed the dish down.

"Huh, it's actually look edible." Cherlene stated

"Why are you acting surprise, I am a great cook!" Archer said

"Sure you are." Cherlene laughed. "And i'm the queen of turkeylandiash."

"Not a real place." Pam said

"Have you not tasted the food I made during the restaurant stint."

"No your mother fed it all to Pam." Cherlene stated

"... Please tell me that was before people believe the dish was poisoned." Archer muttered

"It was, but she also encourage her to keep eating." Cherlene said

"Oh please, we all know she would have died anyway from eating in some form, especially now." Mallory said

"What, i'm skinny now!" Pam said indignant

"Your also eating enough cocaine to kill a herd of horses." Ray stated

"That is so stupid... why would horses use cocaine." Pam scoffed.

"Can we get back on track to dinner, i'm starving here!" Mallory snapped

"Not till Cherlene apologize for insulting my cooking skill." Archer snapped

"YOUR NOT MY PRODUCER!" Cherlene snapped as she grabbed the gravy boat and threw it at Archer, hitting him dead on.

"OW!" Archer screamed as he accidentally threw the turkey and it hit Ray and knocked him out of his chair an into Krieger (Who then knocked into Pam and then Woodhouse). "Damnit! i think you broke my nose."

Cherlene just laughed at Archer and the oters misfortune. Ray just got up holding the Turkey and stepped on the table as he forced Cherlene head on the turkey "Hey... where did everybody go! and why does it smell turkey-ish all of a sudden."

"You can't do that to my new source of money income!" Mallory roared as she grabbed a Fork and tackled Ray, both were rolling around and knocking food away as Ray try to keep Mallory from stabbing him in the shoulder with Cyril trying to break the fight off.

Lana (Somehow was able to put both Candied Yam and mash potato on her plate) was calmily eating her dinner on her lap as she saw the chaos occurring. "Well at least it not as bad as the fourth of julau."

"Hey who said that, can you tell me where I am, cause it taste delicious!" Cherlene said, her voice still muffled by her new 'headwear'.


End file.
